


Vow: for those who found joy in loving unconditionally

by Kiiesaa



Series: Let's Celebrate Love [2]
Category: NCT (Band), SM Rookies
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 07:56:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,787
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11157549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiesaa/pseuds/Kiiesaa
Summary: Weddings were supposed to be happy— why wasn't Hansol?





	Vow: for those who found joy in loving unconditionally

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by Anonymous in the [NCTprompts_III](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/NCTprompts_III) collection. 



> I did not know where I was going with this forgive me TT I just miss jisol TT
> 
>  
> 
> **Prompt:**
> 
> Hansol doesn't know what's worse, that his best friend is going to get married, or that he's not the one his best friend is marrying.

“Not bad…”

  
Hansol was looking at himself in the full body mirror the staff had conveniently placed in his room; he smiled as he adjusted the tie and patted his suit, soothing the faint creases in some areas he had acquired from moving too much. It hugged his figure well, emphasized his broad shoulders and chest; it was especially tailored for him after all. It was white, clean, and it befitted the occasion just right. Weddings were supposed to be special, memorable and perfect; he had to dress nicely once in a while.

  
“Hansol!” a familiar voice echoed through the room and bounced off the walls. He didn’t bothered to turn around, Hansol could recognize that voice from a mile away.

  
“Hey Johnny,” Hansol greeted the other through his own reflection from the mirror. Johnny was silent for a while after he came in and shut the door behind him. Hansol let him be, focused his attention on fixing his tie to make it look flawless even though it already was. Johnny knew that habit very well, considering they’ve been friends for so long; Hansol was nervous and was doing a crappy job at hiding it.

As Hansol turned marginally, he caught Johnny’s eyes; they were probing, as if they were reading his soul and unrevealing his innermost and darkest secrets. “You look nervous. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” he lied in between his teeth. “Yuta should be the one who’s nervous, not me. He won’t even let me visit him, can you believe him?” Hansol was trying his absolute hardest to look and sound calm, unaffected and somewhat passive, but Johnny knew better. Hansol’s eyes were sad, dejected, but Johnny hadn’t said anything.

Johnny was hesitant at first, opening his mouth and closing it again, but before he had the chance to say something, “Places everyone,” the wedding coordinator called, knocking on the door to the room that they were in and interrupted them, asking for Hansol to head onto the garden outside since the ceremony was about to start and he was badly needed.

“Good luck man,” Johnny said and gave him an encouraging pat on the shoulder before he left to find his boyfriend, Ten, so that they could search for their seats in the crowd of people that were present to witness the sacred union. “I’ll see you later.”

____________________________

 

 

 

Yuta had always wanted a garden wedding, he had been dreaming about it since they were little kids, where they would talk about the most nonsense things at 3 o’clock in the morning. He wanted the occasion to be just in time for spring where flowers would bloom beautifully as he walked down the aisle. Albeit the ceremony wouldn’t be held at Japan, Yuta wanted to feel like he was back home. “It would be beautiful,” Yuta said. But Hansol thought it was childish and simply cliché; he wanted a summer wedding after all, a huge contrast to what Yuta wanted. A simple yet memorable wedding at the beach, where they will be barefooted and the sand will tickle their feet. It would be magical, Hansol believed.

But since Yuta was a spoiled brat and liked it best when everything went his way, Hansol decided to forego with his earlier plan and agreed on the garden wedding instead, much to Yuta’s amusement and satisfaction. It was Hansol who made the arrangements for the venue—Yuta was bad at planning things— and had entrusted Hansol with the task. Although it was hard, he was happy to see Yuta getting one of his wishes coming true, even if he was only capable of fulfilling the smallest one.

It moments time, the ceremony officially started. And just like they had rehearsed, everything came to sequence; the sponsors marching down, the bearers, and Hansol was standing at the end of the small aisle, near the pastor, waiting for Yuta to arrive. It was dreadful, standing there, waiting; it was only for a few minutes but Hansol thought it was forever. He could not wait for Yuta to arrive so they could get it done and over it.

Then the music suddenly changed, everyone turned their heads. Yuta came to view and stood at the middle, looked beautiful just by standing there. He was smiling widely. Gone was his usual smirk and the angry lines on his forehead, his smile was honest and pure; he looked even younger than he really was. He looked stunning with his black suit that Hansol helped pick out for him in their many early morning video calls when Yuta went to the tailor shop by himself since Hansol was out of the country because of his job. It complemented Hansol’s white one, like how they complemented each other in some odd way. It hugged his figure like a glove and he looked (slightly) taller too. His hair was slicked back with some strands loosened to gently frame his angular face and sharp jawline. Yuta looked gorgeous— when did he look ugly anyway? It was almost unfair in Hansol’s opinion, to be as utterly breath-taking as Yuta was.

The occasion wasn’t meant to be sentimental; Yuta hated it most when Hansol cried out of nowhere and out of context. But he couldn’t help it. Watching Yuta made Hansol unable to bear the sudden surge of emotions that clouded his senses, the feeling was overwhelming, it was suffocating— the best kind.

Hansol couldn’t take his eyes off of Yuta when the latter slowly walked down the pathway, red roses scattered on the ground for him to walk on, and a bouquet of lilies in his hands. All he could do was stare at him at awe, stare at that familiar face of the only person he had ever loved so dearly; his first love. Their life together flashed before Hansol’s very eyes; how they grew up together, how they suffered a lot all throughout high school and college, how they fell in love; the childish arguments, the sleep overs, the dinner dates, the petty fights, and everything that had happened in between. Though it seemed like it was a blur and in a fast pace, every single memory was clear in Hansol’s head and heart, he could still remember them perfectly and he treasured each one.

Their story was just as cliché and as cheesy as the rest; they started out as childhood friends, to best friends, and eventually to become something more as the years pass by. Hansol had been through hell and back with his life— his parents’ sudden death, being left alone, being abused by his relatives who took him in, leaving home, and then standing on his own two feet to start over again— and Yuta had been there for him through it all, offered whatever help he could give. Yuta stayed when everyone else left him behind. And Hansol was thankful for it; he would have probably gave up in the middle if Yuta hadn’t been there to make everything better. He owed his very life to Yuta. And Hansol loved him because of it, truly, he really did; then and even much more now that he had finally made a name for himself.

Busy with his own inner monologue, Hansol hadn’t noticed Yuta standing in front of him, that bright smile that Hansol loved so dearly plastered on his face. “You look beautiful,” Hansol managed to say lovingly, an octave lower than his usual timbre.

“Thank you,” Yuta mouthed, fighting back a snort to go with his reply.

Hansol was close to losing it right then and there. He wanted to hold Yuta’s hand, to interlace their fingers together, to embrace him so tightly and never let him go again. Hansol would do all of that in a heartbeat if he could.

_If only he could._

 

 

And just like that, Yuta briskly walked pass him, leaving Hansol behind as he continued on his venture towards the small altar. When Yuta left his sight, Hansol felt his entire world crumbling before him, he desperately wanted to hold Yuta back, to tell him that it was a bad idea and he shouldn’t go through with the wedding after all, that they should run away together instead, and that he loved Yuta. But no, Hansol was better than that, he was strong; he was hard wired to be strong. Yuta would be disappointed in him if he did that. So Hansol smiled to himself instead, it was always the same between them, Hansol would constantly look at Yuta’s back as he further moved on with his life while Hansol was left behind.

Hansol just stood in his place as Yuta reached where the pastor and Taeyong, his husband to be, were. He looked overjoyed when Taeyong took his hand and lead him there. He looked more alive, the happiest Hansol had ever seen him and for all that it’s worth, if Yuta was happy, then so would Hansol. Although he hated the idea of Yuta being with someone else, Taeyong was a good guy. Hansol was certain that he could take care of him, that could give Yuta all the love and attention Hansol could only dream to offer.

Suddenly, an unexpected gust of wind sent the leaves and flowers in the garden swirling around and several guest gasped as their clothes were played with and that the flowers surrounding them created a beautiful picture. All were amazed except for Hansol, eyeing the happy couple with masked envious eyes.

_That could have been me._

_That should have been me._

 

 

  
A lone tear then rolled down his cheek as the pastor announced them as officially newlyweds and they kissed so tenderly, the air was filled with hollers, excited clapping and whistles. Hansol was proud of himself that he had managed to make it through the entire ceremony without making a scene; being Yuta’s best man and all. He was quick to wipe the tear off his face but he was certain that Johnny saw it from where he was seated, seeing the worried look the latter gave him. But Hanol straightened his posture and shook his head, telling Johnny that he was alright.

He willed himself to smile at the two when the couple, especially Yuta, turned to him and Hansol offered them his heartfelt congratulations.

Ah, he was such a liar.

\-----------------------------------

 

 

  
“What are you doing here by yourself?”

Hansol turned slightly when he heard that familiar voice ask from behind him. “Needed fresh air,” he answered. It was Yuta, wearing a completely different set of clothes from earlier as he neared Hansol. He handed the latter a glass of champagne he had taken from the passing waiter. Yuta hummed knowingly, as if he didn’t believe him. But Hansol wasn’t worried at all, Yuta was prone to overthink.

It was the wedding reception and Hansol had easily detached himself from the rest of the guests, dodging them to occupy an empty table at the side without them noticing. Almost every one of their friends from high school and college came, but Hansol did not have the heart to talk to them given his current dilemma.

“Congratulations by the way,” Hansol said as he received the glass and took a small sip, then held it up to offer a small toast. “You’re officially hitched.”

“You’ve been saying that for days, Hansol, even before you arrived. I get it, okay?” Yuta chuckled and brought his glass up. “I still can’t believe I’m actually married now. Can you believe it?”

“No, I honestly cannot believe it,” it should have been a joke, he and Yuta joke around all the time, but the way he made it sound was a little close to the truth. Yuta caught on as well and audibly cleared his throat to ease the rising tension between the two of them.

  
It was awkward, Hansol thought. It had been awhile since they last saw each other, aside from their usual video calls; it was strange. Hansol hadn’t been home for 7 years, he wasn’t used to seeing Yuta face to face like that.

“Where’s Taeyong?” he asked, evading the uneasy atmosphere he had brought upon himself, but the question tasted slightly bitter when it rolled off his tongue.

“With my parents, talking. You know how they are.” Yuta shrugged dismissively and took a sip from his glass then remembered something. “My folks have been asking about you since this morning, they’ve been bugging me nonstop. It’s been awhile since they saw you. They probably miss you.”

“I could tell. Your mom won’t let me go when she saw me earlier. Your dad too.”

“Well, you’re like a son to them,” Yuta said. “I think they like you more than they like me.” Yuta’s parents were the first to reach out to him when Hansol’s parents got into a car accident. Hansol would have lived with them if it weren’t for his vicious and conniving relatives and the legal custody they had on him since he was still a minor then. But it didn’t stop the Nakamotos from helping him in any possible way that they can.

When Hansol finally turned 18, he left his aunt’s home and Yuta’s parents happily took him in when he had nowhere else to go. He stayed with them until Hansol made enough money from his part time jobs to rent a small apartment and pay for his school fees on his own. Hansol was indebted to Yuta’s family; it was a debt that money could never pay.

“Well, with you as their son, I wouldn’t be shock— OW! What was that for?!”

“For the insult,” Yuta fringed innocence after smacking him lightly on the head. Hansol pouted childishly as he rubbed the spot where Yuta hit him, the latter only laughed.

Hansol thought it would be smooth sailing from there on, until, “So, when are you leaving?” the dreaded question came.

Hansol didn’t want to think about it; being reminded that his stay in Korea was only temporary made him very uneasy. He took a deep breath before he answered, “around 9, the day after tomorrow. I have some business to attend to in France so I can’t extend my stay.”

“Is Johnny coming with you?”

“Yeah, a ton of work is waiting for us when we come back.”

Johnny had already left, after the ceremony he and Ten asked his permission to go on ahead. Johnny apparently needed to spend some alone time with his boyfriend since they were set to leave again and Hansol was more than willing to suffer being alone in the party if it meant that Johnny could be happy.

At least one of us is happy.

“Figures. You rarely have any spare time after all,” Yuta snorted but his tone sounded disappointed and it made Hansol frown. “I thought you’d decline my request of being my best man at the very last minute because you prefer work over me.”

Time; that was something they lacked in their relationship. They weren’t officially a couple but everyone thought they’d end up together, even Yuta’s parents thought the same too. But after they graduated from college, Hansol and Johnny landed the same job at the same company and became ridiculously successful in no time; they gained top paying and exclusive positions that secured them a stable source of income. But everything had its conditions; the two travelled a lot and had to leave Korea for weeks, for a few months, until it turned to years. Although Ten was against the whole idea of it at first, he selflessly supported Johnny nonetheless and they’re still together, happy and strong like they’ve always been since college.

But with Yuta … it was a whole different story altogether. Hansol rarely had any time to spare and before he knew it, Yuta got himself a boyfriend. Hansol could never blame him; he wasn’t going to hold Yuta back from being happy just because he wanted to. He didn’t because he couldn’t, and because he shouldn’t.

They remained as friends. But it was only Yuta who moved forward, Hansol never did.

“Thank you for coming, I really appreciate it. It’s a miracle you even had the time off your busy schedule.” There it was again, that familiar light in Yuta’s eyes, somewhat anticipating what Hansol was going to say next, hopeful for something.

Yeah, there was no denying it. Yuta still loved him.

But Hansol wasn’t going to give in. Whatever chance they had before, they didn’t have it anymore. Yuta was already married and he was happy. And Hansol will also be happy, eventually.

“Of course,” Hansol replied. “Married or not, you’ll always be my best friend.”


End file.
